Magnetism
by Angel251
Summary: Tres decides to investigate the confounding courtship of Humans. Chapter 15 up. I apologize for the delay on this. I live in the Midwest & have been dealing w/ floods & damage to my home for a couple of weeks now. No updates until state of emergency passe
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I am not making any money from this story. I do not own Trinity Blood, any of its characters or settings. Anything else is mine.

**One**

Tres Iqus was shopping for a lover.

Not out of necessity but rather curiosity. As an android he was a blending of man and machine. Admittedly his was a decidedly robotic nature, but his creator had desired Tres to be virtually human, not only in appearance but also adaptive reaction and to a more limited extent, behavior as well.

His true function was that of a destroyer; he had earned the name Gunslinger and felt no remorse. Tres was simply carrying out his orders to serve the Vatican and more specifically the AX. While he understood the concepts of good and evil, his objective was always the main priority; even if it occasionally set him at odds with his fellow teammates. Of all the members of the AX, Tres was the one guaranteed to fulfill a mission at any cost. He was without fear or sentiment, for the most part.

There were times when his malleable behavior programming kicked in; he had spared the girl Eris because she was only a child and logic had stated she would not be a threat to the Vatican if she were to be raised in safe, controlled conditions. It was the realization that she could indeed be a most useful ally to the Vatican in the future that had swayed him to let her go. Tres understood the rules of diplomacy; he was just under no compulsion to follow them. His main concern was, as always, his objective.

The driving force in his life outside of missions was to constantly test and improve himself, so that he would be of optimal use to the Vatican. He spent hours on the shooting range, and as a result his abilities exceeded that of his original programming. He similarly devoted himself to studying history and societies, in order to be able to blend in with varying cultures while on missions. When action was required, there was no need for such measures but it was his understanding that the Vatican wanted combat to be a final step rather then an initial one.

As a result of his intense studies, Tres had a superior intellectual understanding of both Humans and Methuselahs; at least their biological traits and tendencies. Experience had taught him that individuals could vary in their behaviors.

One aspect of both races that he had difficulty truly comprehending was emotions. Despite the large number of racists among them, Humans and Methuselahs had many things in common. Both had families and friendships; pursued lives of varying states of enterprise and politics, and were given to intense displays of emotion that could unfailingly override their senses of logic. Of all the emotions they displayed, only love seemed to encompass every extreme, both good and bad.

It was something he found interesting but doubted he could ever experience; not in a true sense. He was programmed to have adjustable behavior but it was an imitation, not necessarily a reality. Love itself was out of reach; but many of the main precursors that led to it were not.

Sexual desire, flirtatious behavior and courtship were all things Tres could understand in theory. He had confidence he could enact them as well. The android had been considering engaging in an experiment to test such a hypothesis for some years. But it was his discussion with Father Leon the night before that had finally prompted him to take action.

There had been a dinner held in honor of the AX, all members were present and the event had seemed to transpire without flaw. One of the new Sisters had consumed a bit too much wine and as a result spent a great deal of time talking to Father Abel Nightroad. Tres thought nothing of this, having long ago realized that alcohol could impair the decision making process of most living creatures.

Father Leon, however, had taken great delight in the scene. He was highly amused by both the Sister's earnest interest and Father Abel's obvious obliviousness. Father Leon had laughed uproariously more then once that night. Tres was seated alongside him, and as such had to endure his endless mirth. When Tres had finally asked what was so funny about the situation, Father Leon had told him he wouldn't be able to understand since no program could definitively explain the complexity of human courtships.

Tres had understood and agreed. He did not like having incomplete knowledge in any area, however. At that point he had decided to educate himself on the matter of human courtship.

Tres realized this was something he should most likely pursue in private. Having already read a great deal on the subject; he had determined that carrying out his experiment with a member of the Vatican was out of the question. Historically speaking; such relations appeared volatile and could lead to an obstruction of duties if carried out at work. Under no circumstances could his pursuit of knowledge interfere with his service to the Vatican.

The logical course of action was to therefore go into the city and look for a suitable subject. He had no current objectives, and so that morning he chose to dress in civilian clothes before leaving for town. Tres did not want his future companion to have any knowledge of his life at the Vatican. If pressed he would simply say he held a position there and nothing more. In the interest of maintaining the highest degree of control in the experiment, he would not divulge the fact he was an android either. Such information might change the subject's behavior and contaminate the interactions.

Tres set out at dawn, in order to avoid questioning by his teammates, who would undoubtedly note his lack of uniform. He suspected it would take him the better part of the day to locate a partner. From his own observations, people seemed to simply be drawn to one another initially and if encouraged, this led to the development of relationships. Because he had no preferences or experience with selecting a companion, he deduced that he would have to wait for a female to convey interest in him. He had noticed that most times it was the male who initiated such contact but there had been some females he had observed taking the first step. Invariably these women had also seemed the most interesting in their behaviors. Tres concluded such a female would be perfect for his experiment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two**

The trip into town was uneventful for Tres. He had already chosen a destination for his search; a popular tavern called Slipstream. It was known to cater to the more sophisticated and adventuresome crowd. Logic had told him females that frequented such an establishment had a higher probability of engaging in aggressive behaviors. Additionally, the likelihood of running into anyone from the Vatican was almost null, thanks to the scandalous connotations about the place.

Slipstream was one of the few places in Rome that were open all day, every day. It offered nearly every sort of human vice imaginable and no doubt had sent its share of patrons to the confessionals of the Vatican. Such places of inequity were tolerated in the city because humans were expected to sin; it was in their nature to do so. On a more pragmatic note, they kept the churches full of guilt ridden people.

The building itself was an elaborate affair, three stories of gilded marble that gleamed in the morning light; deceptively innocent in appearance as it towered over the surrounding buildings. From what information Tres had managed to gather, he knew the first floor was for dining and drinking as well as the human pastime of dancing. The second floor was a gambling room. The third floor was reserved for those who were seeking sexual release. The basement seemed to be a place of torture, reserved for people whose taste in entertainment ran to darker pleasures.

Tres had already considered and rejected the idea of simply hiring one of the girls on the third floor. His objective was to understand all the aspects of human courtship, not merely sexual intercourse.

When he entered Slipstream, he immediately noticed the establishment was very well funded. The dining area of the first floor had massive private booths that could be shielded from one another through the use of metal screens. Like the building itself, the tables were made of marble with gold inlay. At a glance, the utensils showed themselves to be pure silver and the glasses crystal.

Having no use for eating, Tres walked along the entry hall until he came to the next doorway, which led into the bar. The tables in this area were smaller and lacked the privacy of the dining room booths; but were equally well appointed with plush seats. The bar itself was enormous; a quick calculation put the bottles of alcohol displayed behind it at five hundred; more then enough to make a massive selection of drinks.

Tres chose a table in a corner of the room so his back was to a wall and he was facing the entrance. It was an automatic, seasoned response of a warrior to do so. He opened a menu that resembled nothing so much as a book, and skimmed through the forty pages of selections. He had no need to drink but could do so to maintain an image of humanity. Although his body was metal under flesh, it was also a virtual replica of a human's. While he could not truly digest the substance for nutritional value, thanks to the nano machines in his system, he could break it down and dispose of it later as any human male would.

**xXx**

Valoria Marcellas was late for work again. One of the things she liked about Slipstream was the flexibility it afforded its employees; but that went hand in hand with the more inconvenient fact that it was open all day every day. If it was her only job, making it in at eight in the morning wouldn't be so awful. However, she also worked at the Saint Ambrose Library; where she spent hours cataloging and researching various information on the races of Man and Methuselah. Last night she had stayed up until four in the morning reading a passage about the light filtered windows in the Empire. As a result, she was now late getting to Slipstream.

Valoria had no real need to work there, but it was a useful conduit of information. As risqué as its customers were; they often had access to all aspects of life and were only too willing to divulge their secrets to a listening ear. They were one of her greatest resources of knowledge, often more up to date then the ancient texts she devoutly studied.

Valoria had been working at Slipstream for years; she was a recognized employee and had a dedicated following of people who frequented the business simply to see her. She had a frank manner about her that people found refreshing; she didn't put on airs and if people didn't like her; she simply didn't care. She had often been quoted as saying, "No one else lives your life, why answer to them?" Some people found her to be too abrupt and abrasive, but she didn't miss their company.

When she rushed into Slipstream, she was half an hour late but not too concerned. Even though the place was perpetually open, people rarely came to the bar so early. She often spent the first half of her shift helping the wait staff of the dining room.

As she barreled in the door, the startlingly handsome bartender, Marcus, called out, "Nice of you to show up."

Valoria stuck her tongue out at him, causing him to laugh. He gave her an exaggerated wink and said, "Anytime."

Shaking her head, Valoria removed the light jacket she had worn to combat the brisk morning air of Spring, and made her way out to the bar. It was a matter of routine to ascertain that the place was empty before moving on to the dining room and offering her assistance there. Thus she was taken by surprise when she saw a man actually sitting at one of the tables in the bar.


	3. Chapter 3

**Three**

Tres had been patiently waiting at his table for half an hour before anyone showed up to take his order. He assumed the demand and nature of Slipstream allowed for keeping people waiting. No one else had arrived in the bar, although he could hear a few humans in the dining room. He was debating whether or not he should relocate to that section when he saw a waitress enter the bar.

The woman was wearing a top that had Slipstream splashed across the chest, and a pair of black pants tucked into knee high boots. She seemed surprised to see him there; perhaps it was not practice for most humans to drink so early in the morning. After a moment she made her way over to him, and he took her measure as she crossed the room. She was aesthetically pleasing in the face; Tres paid little attention to beauty and so he supposed she was attractive enough.

Her figure was smaller then his, and much more slender. She appeared to be rather proportional in weight with fit legs and a waist he could undoubtedly span with his hands. Her hair was a very light shade of brown, and her eyes were a very dark blue, much like the new Queen of Albion's. She moved with what he recognized as confidence, she was both comfortable with herself and the world around her.

It was too bad she merely worked here; she would undoubtedly have suited his purposes. However, she was not approaching him out of interest, but rather to simply take his order. Tres decided it would be a deplorable lack of human manners to initiate any sort of intimate contact with someone who was forced to socialize with him because of their duties.

**xXx**

Valoria normally didn't pay much attention to the looks of her customers; one because they were generally of a very promiscuous nature if they were at Slipstream and two because many of them had become regulars for years and were more like friends to her now. Occasionally a new person materialized, but generally they were just passing through. Clients of Slipstream were repeat visitors for the most part and had been since coming of age to partake in whatever vices they enjoyed. Slipstream was not a cheap place to frequent; normal citizens of Rome only came in if they were celebrating special occasions.

There was something about this man that demanded attention. He was handsome, certainly, but there was a coldness to him that was unnerving. He had absolutely no expression on his face. He watched her cross the room and it made her feel nervous. She was used to people looking at her; she was a waitress after all. However most people were circumspect about it and no one had ever openly watched her before while she walked up to them. His face registered nothing as she approached; most people smiled out of politeness but he did not.

Valoria briefly made eye contact with him; his eyes were brown and seemed to be flat. She often looked people in the eye while talking to them but she was having a hard time holding his gaze; it was devoid of emotion and disconcerting. She had never seen eyes like his; not among humans or methuselahs. She felt a compulsion to be submissive under such a dominating stare, and it made her angry.

She deliberately forced herself to move around the table so she was standing beside him; in effect showing him she was not intimidated. Up close, she couldn't help but notice the streamlined shape of his physique. The man was in phenomenal condition. "What's your pleasure?"

It was the standard greeting of the Slipstream wait staff; informal and slightly suggestive although she couldn't have felt less flirtatious at the moment. The man made her nervous, something she wasn't used to and didn't like.

For all her appearance of confidence, Tres could hear the uneasiness in her voice and wondered if he had caused it. His experiment would be over before it began if he frightened away possible subjects. Reflecting back on past human interactions he had seen, he forced himself to smile; an action that was unprecedented and made his face feel odd.

Valoria watched his handsome face break into a one sided grin; it was cute but it did nothing to lighten those intense eyes of his. He was obviously trying to make her feel comfortable; she wondered how he had read her distress so easily.

Tres sensed the moment she relaxed; and turned his attention to her odd greeting instead. "Your statement does not compute."

She blinked at him, at the almost monotone voice and strange phrase. "Excuse me?"

Tres immediately realized his remark had not sounded human. He was going to have to be careful to adopt the speech patterns of humans while he was among them; as best as he could. He normally didn't bother when he was on missions for the Vatican; one or more AX members were usually with him for matters of diplomacy. He searched his memory and found a comment that was more appropriate for the role of human. "I apologize; I didn't understand what you said."

She tilted her head to study him for a moment, looking less uncomfortable by the second. His voice still sounded stiff. "You must not be from around here. Is this your first time at Slipstream?"

Tres had to remind himself not to say 'positive'. "Yes."

"Do you need someone to show you around," she asked; one of the duties of the staff at Slipstream was to make certain guests knew where everything was and what the rules of the business were.

"No thank you," Tres politely replied. "I want a drink."

His words were abrupt, as if he had little social skills. She wondered what line of work he was in; with eyes so empty and such a curt demeanor he seemed to scream "assassin". "Alright; what would you like to drink?"

Tres glanced at the menu in his hands, with its formidable list of beverages, and finally glanced back up at her. "What would you recommend?"

Valoria was used to that question. She shrugged and said, "I prefer beer myself."

Tres closed the menu and said, "Then that is what I will have."

Valoria started to ask him what type of beer he wanted; but then decided to just pick one out for him. He had already asked her opinion; apparently he was leaving it up to her. "I'll be right back."

Tres watched her walk away, thinking how convenient it would be to simply ask her to be his partner. She appeared to be in good shape and he had not noted any rings on her hands, which in the human culture generally meant she was single. However, he knew enough about human etiquette that such an action was considered rude; particularly since she had shown no sign of interest in him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Four**

Valoria walked into the room behind the bar where Marcus was engaging in a make out session with one of the waiters from the dining room. The two men were quite passionate in their heated explorations; she hated to break them up but waitresses were not permitted to handle anything on tap. A previous employee had given away free drinks one too many times and in the interest of controlling product loss only bartenders handled the alcohol that wasn't individually bottled.

She cleared her throat but the men were oblivious to it, so with a sigh she said, "Marcus, I need you to get me a black lager draw."

The bartender opened his eyes and glanced over at her, but continued kissing his companion. He ran his hands down the man's back and slid his body against him before winking at her with dark eyes. Valoria gave him a stern glare in response and he broke the kiss off with a laugh.

"Alright, I'm going already," he said, casting one last look at his flushed associate as he headed back into the brewing area. "I'll see you later."

The blond had the grace to blush in front of Valoria. "Sorry I didn't see you there."

She waved a hand at him. "It's not a problem; you might not have seen me but I'm sure Marcus did. Better get back to your shift before Lucien notices you're gone."

Lucien was the maestro of Slipstream and an absolute tyrant. He fired people without remorse if he felt they were shirking their duties in any way. The waiter blanched and nearly ran from the room.

Valoria rolled her eyes as she heard Marcus whistling in the back room. The man was such a flirt; he loved men and women equally and she had no doubt he was trying to arouse her with that last little wanton display. They had known one another for years and he had propositioned her on more then one occasion. She had always politely declined him; hers was a monogamous nature and while she had no doubt Marcus would make a fantastic lover; he was not what she searched for in a companion.

In fact it had been some time since she'd taken a lover. Tristan Gabrielli had been the last; some three years ago. As a Methuselah; he was both inexhaustible and incredibly strong; the sex had been magnificent. Their relationship had been ardent in the extreme; but when he was called back to service in the Empire they had parted ways; knowing the likelihood of meeting again was slim. He had asked her to go with him, but she felt her place was in Rome. She loved her life and was loathe to give it up.

Tristan had never felt that Valoria truly belonged to him, and she had been too independent to give him reign over her. She had done that for a man once and it had led to her betrayal and near ruination. The nobles of the Empire had ages of arrogance bred into them, and as one such individual the Viscount of Brioschi could not accept anything less then her all.

After Tristan's departure she had felt no compulsion to take another lover. Perhaps part of her was convinced no human man would suffice anymore and methuselahs were less then plentiful in Rome. For the most part, she had been exhausted after the departure of the Viscount. He had tried to squeeze in as much love making as possible to remember her by. Her memories of their time together were still vivid in her mind after so many years; a testament to his extraordinary talents and perhaps an implication her feelings had been more involved then she had believed back then.

In any event, Marcus paled before the beauty of Tristan. It was a mistake on Marcus' part to think Valoria's head would be turned by a pretty face. She was no great beauty herself, and that had lent her a decidedly practical outlook on physical appeal. She had been skeptical of the methuselah's interest in her for the better part of their relationship; in the end she'd decided Tristan was attracted to her because it was taboo for a human and a methuselah to be lovers. He found the forbidden aspect of it to be exciting no doubt.

Her train of thought was interrupted by Marcus' reappearance. The man strolled over to her with her requested beer in hand, but he had a smirk on his handsome face that made warning bells go off in her head.

"It was rather rude of you to break up my play time," he pouted as he drew even with her, looking at her with brilliant blue eyes through the fall of his long black hair. "By rights I think you should give me a little something for compensation."

Valoria sighed, too tired to play his games. "Look, I'm sorry Marcus but I have a customer waiting. If I had my way I'd have let you bang that guy on the floor for all I care. I have had about four hours of sleep, and I am just not in the mood for this right now."

The sly expression on his face immediately turned to one of concern. "Up late doing research again? You can't keep going on like that; you're going to burn yourself out."

"Thank you mother," she muttered, grabbing the lager from his hand and stomping out of the room before he had a chance to say anything else.

Her customer was sitting exactly as she had left him; she couldn't help but notice how still he sat. It seemed unnatural; like everything else about him. Once again, he watched her as she approached him. It didn't bother her as much this time because there was nothing personal about it. He hadn't once looked at her in a lewd way, and she actually appreciated it after Marcus' antics.

"Sorry that took so long, this is a black lager; I think you'll like it. It's very smooth."

Tres automatically reached for the glass she set down on his table. "Thank you."

Valoria noted the hesitant way he spoke; the exaggerated emphasis he put on his words. It was obvious he was not used to thanking people. He was so very…strange. "No problem, do you need anything else?"

After a moment of silence: "No."

She gave him a short nod of understanding; he must be wanting some down time and she could empathize with needing some privacy. "Alright. My name's Valoria. If you need anything else I'll be in the dining room until this place picks up."

Tres watched her leave; once she was out of sight he placed the beer back on the table and closed his eyes. He would rest until someone else arrived. He had a feeling it had been a mistake to arrive so early. It was unlikely any females would be showing up soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Five**

It turned out that Tres was correct in his conclusion. Noon had come and gone before anyone else entered the bar at Slipstream. His waitress had occasionally poked her head in to check on him and so Tres had been obliged to drink several of the lagers in order to maintain his façade of humanity but of course he wasn't drunk. He was not used to sitting still for so long while not on a mission, but then again his patience was endless.

However his plan seemed to be ill fated. When the first female arrived; she had a man with her. The next female had a woman with her and the two were not merely friends, making out openly at their table without regard for who might be watching. Several more women trickled in, none of them alone and some of them with multiple partners. Tres had to content himself with observing their behaviors until he found a mark. He had read many passages about the varying sexual relationships among humans and all of them were on display in Slipstream. His first hand experience had been of heterosexual couples only but it was obvious to him by the number of mixed pairings in the bar that this method was not the only mainstream one.

Another pair of waitresses had joined Valoria in the bar; they were blond twins and apparently quite appealing, as many of the customers engaged them in flirtatious banter. Valoria seemed to be either above or below such commentary; for the most part the remarks addressed to her were friendly rather then sexual in nature. Studying the twins in comparison to her, Tres could not detect any real difference between their appearances. He was not able to genuinely distinguish among human beauty; all women had generally aesthetically pleasing features unless they were disfigured.

As the day wore on and no single women appeared in the bar, Tres began to realize he had made a miscalculation by coming there. It was apparent that the club catered to couples for the most part. That; or the single people were going to other floors of the business, which he had not considered before. In any case; if the single women were being entertained on the third floor or in the basement, they were not available for courtship lessons.

It seemed his first day of study would come to nothing. He had a rather annoyed look on his face when his waitress approached him yet again to see how he was doing. It was the first sign of any emotions Valoria had seen out of him and she wondered if he was supposed to meet someone and had been stood up. She couldn't imagine anyone engaging in sexual intercourse with him since he was so awkward but then again; he was incredibly easy on the eyes.

"Do you need another beer?"

"Negative," Tres remarked, his thoughts on the day's failure. It was inconceivable that he could not find one suitable partner.

"Alright," Valoria replied, starting to turn away, once again thinking how off his manner of speaking was.

Tres glanced at her in speculation. He had already considered and rejected the idea of propositioning her since she was working but it was evident from the behavior of the other waitresses that it would be acceptable for him to do so. He could at least ask; the most she would do was say no. If she said yes, his day would not be a complete loss.

"Would you like to go out sometime," he asked, reciting the line he had heard being used around the bar.

Valoria paused to look back at him in surprise, not sure she had heard him correctly. He had been there all day and not once made a pass at her or behaved in an indecent manner. In fact he had seemed downright apathetic to her presence. For the second time that day she said, "Excuse me?"

"Would you like to go out sometime," Tres repeated in that almost monotone voice, his expression pleasantly blank.

Valoria turned to face him, frowning slightly. "Are you serious?"

A look of surprise crossed his handsome features. "Of course. Why else would I have asked?"

Valoria considered him for a moment, trying to decide if his offer was genuine or not. It was possible he was asking her out because he had been stood up and was feeling angry or vulnerable. She really didn't want to be anyone's rebound date.

"Thanks for asking, but I don't think so," she finally said, starting to turn away yet again.

"Why, do you find me unattractive," he asked, the first hint of curiosity in his voice.

She took in his handsome face and obviously toned body before saying, "No, but there are other women here who would find you just as attractive. Go ask one of them."

Her forthright manner of speaking was close to his own, he found it very refreshing. "They do not interest me."

Valoria raised an eyebrow at him before glancing around the room, noting the various women who were openly admiring Tres. She couldn't hold a candle to most of them. "Is that so," she skeptically remarked.

Tres was not phased by her tone. "Yes."

"I find that hard to believe."

He felt a genuine spark of interest then. "Why? Is it so improbable a man would find you attractive?"

Valoria had no idea how to respond to that at first. She wasn't used to men who were as frank as she was. "No, it's just implausible you would be interested in me when you have your choice of women," she said, waving her hand around the room to indicate the various beauties that had been overtly studying Tres for the better part of the day.

Tres had seen them as well; none of them appeared to be single and if they were, had failed to take the initiative in approaching him. "As I said, they do not interest me."

"And I do," Valoria replied, cynicism manifest in her words.

"Positive," Tres responded; not bothering to add any further attempts of persuasion. Either she would agree or she wouldn't.

Valoria considered him for a moment; his passive face made it difficult to take him seriously but then again, from what she had seen he was an odd individual. He seemed safe enough; and she hadn't been on a date in sometime. She was surprised to hear herself saying, "In that case, yes."

Tres immediately rose from his seat; relieved that this part of the experiment was at an end. "When would you be available to interface?"

Valoria leaned back from him, acutely aware of his presence now that he had stood up. He was at least a foot taller then her; he made her feel tiny. His strange phrase brought a smile to her lips. "You don't get out much do you?"

"Neg-; no," Tres corrected himself.

"Neither do I;" she admitted. "How about tonight? Why don't you meet me here and we can go out once I finish working."

"Yes," he responded, pleased he had managed to avoid stating 'positive'. Apparently, speaking like a human was going to be one of the more difficult challenges for him in the days ahead.

"I'll see you then," Valoria assured him, before waving good bye and disappearing behind the bar.

Tres paid his bill and left Slipstream, oblivious to the admiring looks he was receiving. Step one in his plan had been completed. He had obtained a partner. Now he had to simply flirt with her and his experiment would continue to progress admirably.


	6. Chapter 6

**Six**

The rest of Valoria's day seemed to fly by. As usual, the majority of Slipstream's customers started showing up in the afternoon. She was only working until the evening; one of the perks of coming in early was getting to leave early. Of course, she made more money working at night but she was too tired to consider staying late. Marcus was pulling a double shift but Valoria didn't have the energy for it.

Besides, she had somehow gotten herself a date. It had been an impulsive act on her part. She didn't know the man at all; he could very well be dangerous. Normally she would never accept a date from a stranger.

Her mind reflected back on the odd man and his strange demeanor. He was certainly attractive, but despite that he was nothing short of awkward. She still couldn't believe she had agreed to go out with him. Perhaps she was feeling lonely; it had been some time since she had indulged in the sport of dating. She could use a fun night out on the town.

**xXx**

Tres spent the day reviewing his course of action. Typical dates consisted of dinner and taking in some form of entertainment, so he purchased tickets to a play and made reservations at a fine dining restaurant. Unlike most members of the Vatican, he didn't need to spend his stipend on supplies such as food so he had amassed quite a fortune. Because he couldn't return to the Vatican for a change of clothes, he bought a set of evening clothes. He changed in the store and then returned to Slipstream.

When he entered the bar, he noticed the number of customers had drastically increased. He had to search for a seat, and as he made his way to it women and men alike openly admired him. Tres ignored their stares; he had obtained his subject and had no need for further partners.

Valoria was moving from table to table and had not yet noticed his arrival. However there was an ample amount of time before they needed to make their appointment for dinner. He settled back to watch her interact with the other customers, hoping to gain insight into how best to communicate with her.

He had held many conversations with members of the Vatican; however those were not flirtations and he was able to speak openly for his nature was known to them. She wandered among the people easily; exchanging light hearted comments with them. It was obvious she enjoyed laughing, but he noted she kept a deliberate distance between herself and those she talked to.

For some reason, when she turned and saw him, the smile faded from her face.

**xXx**

Valoria felt eyes on her. Instinctively she glanced around the crowd of people but no one seemed to be staring at her. Dismissing the feeling, she turned to go pick up a round of drinks for her newest table and then came to a halt when she saw her date for the evening sitting at a table studying her.

She liked to think she was above being influenced by a pretty face, but he proved her wrong. He had been handsome before, but now he had changed into a black suit and he looked absolutely amazing. His unkempt hair gleamed in the dim lighting of the bar, and the shadows made his eyes look mysterious instead of flat. Valoria was certain she felt her heart stop for a moment.

He met her gaze evenly; it compelled her to approach him and she didn't resist; walking up to him with a smile. "You sure clean up nice."

Tres blinked at her for a moment. At his silence she sighed and said, "The suit looks very nice on you."

"Thank you," he remarked, "I made a reservation for dinner. It requires formal clothing."

"I'll have to go home and change then," Valoria replied. "Let me just turn in this order and I can go."

"Pos-, yes."

Valoria quickly made her way to the bar. Zoe, one of the other waitresses, leaned over and said, "Lucky girl, who is that gorgeous creature?"

"My date," she laughed; realizing she didn't even know his name.

Valoria placed her last order, turned her tables over to another waitress and then made her way back to Tres. "All done. Shall we go?"

Tres rose and waited for her to lead the way. Again she felt as if he eclipsed her with his size. Being so close to him made her acutely aware of the muscular length of his body, she couldn't help but react to his presence. Apparently, her body had decided she'd been chaste for long enough. It was coming out of its period of abstinence with a vengeance.

Valoria hurried out of Slipstream, needing some fresh air to clear her head.

Tres, completely unaware of her response to him, followed in her wake. Valoria glanced at him as he joined her outside. "My house isn't too far from here; I hope you don't mind walking."

"Walking is fine," he assured her.

She smiled and set off at a leisurely pace. Tres quietly studied her as they made their way down the street. She seemed more apprehensive then she had in the bar; he searched his mind for a way to put her at ease. "I purchased tickets to a play."

Valoria looked at him in surprise; he did not seem like the artsy type. In fact it was hard picturing him enjoying much of anything at the moment, the way his face was always so stoic. "That sounds lovely. By the way, I never did catch your name."

"Tres Iqus."


	7. Chapter 7

**Seven**

The walk to Valoria's house was brief. She chose to live close to the Saint Ambrose library for the sake of convenience. Her home was of moderate size; well furnished but not lavish as she wasn't given to opulence. She had Tres wait in the living room while she went upstairs to change.

She still couldn't quite believe she had a man in her house. It felt unusual after so many years of solitude. The feeling wasn't unpleasant, just unsettling. She went to a side of her closet that hadn't been used in some time. Formal dresses of varying colors and styles hung there, sparkling reminders of past relationships that made her wonder if she should have stopped to buy a new dress.

In the end, she knew that wasn't practical since their dinner date was fast approaching. So she selected a long black dress and hurriedly changed into it. The top wasn't too low and the length of the dress reached her ankles, but the material clung to her like a second skin; revealing and yet concealing the curves of her body.

Valoria told herself that she chose the dress because she wanted to compliment his outfit. But she knew she picked it out because it made her feel sexy. She wasn't as pretty as he was by any means, but she was a cute girl and given the right touch ups to appearance could even pass as beautiful. She hurriedly pulled on a pair of black heels and went back downstairs.

**xXx**

Tres studied the contents of Valoria's living room while he waited for her to get prepared for dinner. The area was neat; well maintained. There were a few notebooks scattered on a velvet loveseat; it would be rude of him to read the contents so he left them alone. What captured his full attention was the tremendous amount of books she had. On either side of her fireplace were shelves; each of which contained dozens of books. A glance at the titles revealed they covered every subject from weather to crop rotations to the history of the Methuselah.

Tres enjoyed reading, it was a shame they didn't have more time or he would have asked her permission to go through her collection. As it was, he could hear her coming down the stairs, so he turned to greet her.

She had changed into a black dress that matched his suit. It appeared modest in both cut and length; however he could fully see the line of her body. He had chosen an adequate partner; she was slender with delicate curves and appeared completely fit. The shape of her arms told him that she maintained an exercise schedule of some sort.

Tres searched his mind for the phrases to use in such a situation. "You look nice."

Valoria's smile wilted around the edges a little; "nice" wasn't what she had been going for. Then again, he was an unusual man. She had the feeling any compliment from him was good.

"Thanks," she settled for saying, "Shall we go to dinner?"

"Positive," he replied, wondering why her voice had seemed to catch for a moment.

**xXx**

The restaurant he chose was Gauge; a very progressive and exclusive fine dining location. This morning he had gone to Slipstream and this evening Gauge. Once again Valoria found herself wondering at his line of work. He had to make a great deal of money to frequent such places. Being a librarian herself, she wasn't sure if she liked that or not. A lot of rich men were high maintenance, or had nothing in common with her.

Of course Tres was so quiet and distant that she was pretty certain it was going to be hard to tell much about him at all. He was unlike anyone she'd ever dated before. Generally on a first date, either the man was babbling because of nerves or she was. Tres was silent as the grave and seemed completely at ease; she wasn't sure whether to be pleased or annoyed. He either didn't have much interest in the date, or he was self assured enough not to feel insecure on it.

Valoria was feeling a little vulnerable herself at the moment. The man was just too good looking. She always got flighty around incredibly attractive men; they tended to be dangerous in more ways then one and it was a lesson she had learned the hard way. Thus far, Tres had been a perfect gentleman. As a matter of fact he had hardly appeared interested in her. It was so bizarre, and yet seemingly perfectly suited to her companion.

They were shown to a private table where a waitress stood, waiting to take their order but at a discreet enough distance to give them privacy.

Valoria picked up her menu and began flipping through it. She had never eaten at Gauge before. She glanced over at Tres. "Do you have any recommendations?"

Tres looked up from his menu, his eyes solemn. "Try something new."

He was a man of few words, she thought, caught between irritation and relief. Some men went on and on about themselves until a girl wanted to punch them in the face. Tres seemed to sit at the other end of the spectrum, only speaking if she forced a reply out of him.

Still, she supposed he was right. She was at a new restaurant; she might as well try something new.

Tres watched as Valoria glared down at her menu with an intensity that implied it held the secrets of the universe rather then simply the choices of dinner. She was definitely on edge about something. He could think of nothing he had said or done that would alarm her, but he had already concluded women were strange creatures no matter the race. He had the texts delineating their oddities to back up his observation.

After watching her stare at the menu for several minutes, Tres finally asked, "Would you like me to order for you?"

Valoria blinked at him, and then broke into a smile. "Oh, you want to see if you can guess what I might like? Well, I can tell you now there isn't much I won't eat. Sure, order for me, it'll be fun."

Tres had offered because making a choice seemed too hard for her, but he did not respond to her comment with anything more then a nod. He gestured for the waitress to approach and then placed their order.


	8. Chapter 8

**Eight**

Some time ago, Tres had discovered that his adaptive programs allowed him to minutely enjoy many of the biological functions available to humans. To a limited extent, he could register the taste of edible substances. His palate was nothing compared to that of a human, but he did recognize the difference between something that tasted good and bad. He didn't make a habit of eating, though, as it was an unnecessary action for him. However, he had chosen Gauge because if he was going to partake of food, he wanted it to be an enjoyable experience, and the establishment had an excellent reputation.

Tres had ordered seafood for his companion and a steak for himself. He had not thought to ask for an appetizer, having come across it in his dating files after the order had already been placed.

Now that the order had been put in, their waitress had vanished. A bottle of opened wine sat on the table; Tres had noticed one at every booth they passed. Apparently it was complimentary.

He glanced over at his companion. She appeared to be absorbed in studying their surroundings.

Actually, that couldn't have been farther from the truth. Valoria was absorbed in studying her date and trying to be surreptitious about it. He hadn't spoken since the waitress had left. She couldn't think of a thing to say that wouldn't sound like inane chatter. If he would open up a little bit she could carry a conversation, but he was giving her nothing to work with.

She supposed she'd have to try generic questions and see if she couldn't get a response out of him.

"So, what brought you to Rome?"

"Nothing, I reside here," Tres replied.

Valoria's face betrayed her surprise. "Really? You have such a unique way of well, talking and acting, I thought you might be from another country."

Unique was putting it mildly, but there was no need for her to go into that.

Tres detected an undercurrent in her voice; possibly laughter. What had he done to amuse her?

"Ne-, no."

Valoria waited for him to elaborate but he didn't. They sat in silence for another minute or so and it became apparent to her that he wasn't going to ask her anything about herself. Either he was very private, or he just didn't care. But the situation was becoming a bit strained for her. She was starting to believe he had asked her out on a rebound date after all.

"Why did you ask me out?"

To Tres the question seemed to come from out of the blue. Surprise flashed across his face. He couldn't very well tell her the truth. Or could he? Tres paused to calculate the woman's likely reaction to at least a portion of the truth. From what he knew of human relationships, some were based on sexual fulfillment only. From that point of view it was plausible she would accept the partial truth. However, Tres was equally interested in the actual events of courtship. That required more then just sex.

So, he was forced to abandon telling her the truth. It was not in his nature to be deliberately deceptive as a rule; he had not considered how such behavior might lead to conflict with himself. In the end, he settled for an explanation that he had read numerous times in dating texts. "I find you attractive. I would like to get to know you better."

Valoria's face clearly portrayed her skepticism. "Really? Because normally when you want to get to know someone better, you talk to them."

Tres sighed inwardly. This whole process was turning out to be rather troublesome. He didn't know what to talk to the woman about. He couldn't very well discuss the details of his work with her. "I apologize; I have no idea what is appropriate to discuss with you."

That comment made her feel like an ass. She herself had been hesitant to strike up conversation since she didn't know much about him. Clearly he was worried he might offend her by asking the wrong question. This man was unusual; she was going to have to accept that and not take everything he did or did not do so personally. With that in mind, Valoria forced herself to relax.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous. Must be first date jitters," she said in a cheerful voice, a smile fixed firmly on her face.

Tres had some knowledge of what she was talking about, but no understanding of it. Since this was an attempt to understand human courtship, he decided to ask about it. "Why are you nervous?"

She stared at him for a moment; his curious expression conveyed he was serious. "I guess I'm just concerned I might say something to offend you."

He started to ask why that should matter; but then considered her response. In a relationship he presumed it was best to treat one's partner as an equal. Undoubtedly it would be unwise to disregard their sensibilities. He had none himself, as far as taking offense; but she had no way of knowing that.

"Understood."

Silence between them resumed. However this time Tres realized that the lack of communication was what was bothering Valoria. "You have a large collection of books at your house. You enjoy reading?"

She was relieved to have something to talk about at last. "I love to read, about anything at all. My friends think I'm obsessed. I don't actually work full time at Slipstream; my real job is at a library."

"I read also, when I have the time. Do you think I could scan your collection some time?"

Valoria raised an eyebrow at his odd query, than nodded. "Sure. I wouldn't mind lending some books to a fellow reader."

"Thank you."

She was just about to ask what he did for a living when their waitress rematerialized with the first course of their dinner in hand.


	9. Chapter 9

_AU: Thank you to 22missyb and Dalara for the reviews. It's nice to know someone is enjoying the story; it keeps a girl writing. _

**Nine**

Dinner ended up lasting the better part of two hours. There wasn't much time for talking. In the end, Tres hadn't needed to order an appetizer after all. It turned out that dinner at Gauge was a multi course meal. There was a salad, than a gruyere spread with hot bread, followed by soup, and eventually the main course. After that, there was an interesting crème and rice concoction followed by a rich chocolate cake.

By the time she was done eating Valoria wasn't sure she'd be able to move. Everything had tasted amazing; restraint had been impossible. Some time during the meal she had started sharing her lobster Newburg with Tres, who had reciprocated by offering her some of his steak that was topped with a gorgonzola cheese and blue crab. She had a picture of him feeding her flash through her mind and it made her blush. Of course he hadn't done that; but she was sure she would have enjoyed it.

For his part, Tres was well satisfied with the meal. Even with his reduced ability to experience taste, he was treated to an array of flavors and had eaten accordingly. His companion was equally enthusiastic about her own dinner. He had been surprised when she offered him some of her food; but logic dictated it was an acceptable action that allowed the widest variety of taste sampling. He had responded in kind, letting her have a bit of his steak although it had been so flavorful he would have preferred keeping it to himself.

Once she had finished the last bite of her chocolate cake, Valoria collapsed back in her seat with a groan.

She sounded as if she was in pain. Tres immediately asked, "Status report."

Valoria stretched to relieve some of the weight in her stomach. "If you're trying to ask how I feel, I'm fine. I just ate too much."

"I understand. I also ate more then I intended to," he agreed. "Dinner took longer then I expected. The play will begin shortly. We must leave."

He had a very concise way of speaking that caught her off guard. It was borderline rude, and yet she sensed it wasn't meant to be. Valoria sighed to herself as her aching stomach protested. But the idea of a play was too tempting to pass up. She was set on enjoying her night out. "Alright, but if I collapse on the way, go on without me."

It was a joke, but Tres gave her a puzzled look. "I would not leave you."

"It was just a figure of speech," she replied. The man really needed to work on his social skills.

Tres considered her words; it was a human statement that departed from straightforward speech. "I understand."

Valoria somehow managed to get out of her seat. She watched Tres get up without a hint of difficulty and felt a surge of envy. He left payment for the meal, and then moved to her side, forcing her to look up and meet his gaze. He offered her an arm, following the dating protocol he had looked up.

She stared at his arm in silence. As soon as he'd stepped close to her, she could smell the faint scent of sandalwood and feel a slight heat coming off his body. She experienced an immediate response and blushed in spite of herself. She hadn't felt this attracted to a man in a long time. She wondered if his unusual demeanor had somehow increased his appeal. What, exactly, did that say about her preferences, she wondered ruefully.

With a sigh, she placed her hand on his arm. It felt firm beneath her touch, and cooler then she had expected; he was like strength leashed. A thrill went through her at the feel of him. Her fingers involuntarily tightened in reaction as the pleasant rush swept through her.

Tres felt the movement and asked, "Is something wrong?"

"Oh no," she assured him. "Everything is just perfect."

Something in her tone intrigued him; he studied her for a moment before shrugging and setting off for the theater. Valoria walked with him in silence, feeling slightly sleepy after eating so much food. She was beginning to understand that Tres would speak when spoken to; or if he had something on his mind. But he was not one for pointless chatter. Knowing that made the lapses in conversation less troubling.

"What play are we seeing?"

"It is called 'Much Ado About Nothing'," he said, noting the way she seemed to lean on him for support.

"Ah, Shakespeare, still in circulation after millennia."

"Yes," he said, pleased she knew of the ancient writer. "I have read some of his works. They were enlightening."

He meant into human nature. Valoria took it as some sort of personal insight he must have gained. "Reading will do that for people."

Tres agreed. Much of what he knew about humans and methuselahs had come from books. The theater, Alphaeus, was only a block away from Gauge. This actually turned out to be convenient because Valoria was so full she felt a stitch in her side coming on before they reached the building. Tres attributed her slow pace to the uncomfortable looking shoes she was wearing. He had never understood the human female penchant for wearing crippling devices on their feet.

Tres had never been to Alphaeus before. He found the ancient building interesting. It was built similarly to the Vatican, all columns with a high ceiling. There were balconies everywhere overlooking the huge stage that dominated the center of the room. There were also floor seats; but he had chosen to reserve a balcony for them. He thought he heard Valoria emit a squeak of dismay upon being guided to the stairs that led up to their seats.

Valoria somehow made it up the stairs, even though the stitch in her side had grown to a full blown stabbing sensation. She tried to ignore it while taking in the anticipatory feeling inside of Alphaeus. People were talking amongst themselves as they waited for the show to start. The theater was an old one; there was a great deal of prestige to its presentations.

When they finally reached their balcony seat, the view of the stage was nothing short of spectacular. Valoria hadn't been to a play in some time, she was excited she would be getting to see this one from a bird's eye view. As Tres took his place alongside hers, she had to admit the view from up close wasn't bad either. The night just kept getting better and better.


	10. Chapter 10

_AU: Thank you to Taixishi and ValarSpawn for reviewing. _

_T: I can't give away any plot details without spoiling some of the anticipation._

_V: I was inspired to write this story because I couldn't find any stories about Tres. I hope more people will write about him._

**Ten**

"Much Ado About Nothing" was a masterpiece of the human emotional gamut. There was humor, sorrow, faithlessness, love, good and evil. There were elements of the absurd and all too real. Valoria laughed, teared up and got angry at various times during the play. It was a stirring performance.

For Tres, watching the reactions of the humans around him was just as enjoyable as the play. The majority of them were very compassionate and swayed by the mood the actors created. Valoria seemed to be enjoying herself; apparently he had chosen well when he decided to bring her there.

At the end of the production, the crowd gave the actors a standing ovation. Valoria jumped to her feet with everyone else when the applauding began. Tres was slower to react, being rather unfamiliar with enacting the custom outside of the occasional AX event. The first time his hands clapped together it made a horrendous sound. Fortunately it was drowned out by the rest of the applause for the most part. Valoria did send him a startled glance. Tres quickly adjusted the strength of force behind his clapping so it sounded like everyone else's. A confused look flashed over her face, and then she shrugged and resumed cheering.

After the actors exited the stage, Tres escorted Valoria outside.

She closed her eyes and inhaled the evening air, her senses alive with reaction to the play. "That was wonderful."

"I found it adequately displayed the volatile range of human emotions," he agreed.

Yet another odd turn of phrase, she thought, studying him in the moonlight. He looked divine; tall and well built with a handsome face. His eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. He always looked so serious; she wondered what it would be like to break that composure of his.

And of course, that thought led to another: what would their good night kiss be like? And just like that, she was hit by a case of butterflies. A surge of nervousness rushed through her and she had to fight down the urge to start babbling.

Tres calculated that it was time to take the woman home; it was almost midnight and she had been up since at least eight thirty a.m. because that was when she had showed up at Slipstream. "The hour is late. I will escort you home."

The butterflies started whirling like crazy in her stomach. It was funny how closely related anticipation and sickness were; it said quite a bit about human nature. Those brief words instantly brought to mind an image of them standing at her door, with his darkly handsome frame leaning down over her. She wondered if he'd be just as deliberately efficient in kissing as he was in everything else, or if it was something he might actually linger over. She took a deep breath to clear her head. "That sounds lovely."

Tres heard her take in air and thought she was panting. "You have overexerted yourself; are you well?"

Valoria felt her face go up in flames; somehow he had heard her breathe in. She couldn't believe he'd actually asked her about it. Was he really naive enough to think something was wrong with her? She had a difficult time believing such an attractive man would be oblivious to a woman's reaction to him.

And then a new idea occurred to her out of the blue: maybe Tres was a virgin.

The instant the thought crossed her mind, she dismissed it. There was no way an appealing specimen like him could be virginal. It was ludicrous. Even with his odd mannerisms, his looks alone would draw women to him.

Tres was growing concerned waiting for her to answer his question. He was just about to take matters into his own hands and examine her for injuries when she finally said, "I'm fine. My mind was just wandering, that's all."

He considered her words and said, "You find my company boring and so your thoughts turn to other matters?"

Valoria's mouth fell open before she could stop it; her expression one of astonishment. She had no idea where the man got such ideas. Maybe he'd had some bad experiences dating; she could certainly relate to that. "No; Tres I had a wonderful time tonight. You are anything but boring."

Tres was relieved to hear her say that. He had no desire to go searching for another partner when he already had time invested in building a rapport with this one; it would mean his efforts tonight had been a waste and time was not something he had to spare. The Vatican often sent him on missions for days on end; free time was rare.

His thoughts were interrupted when Valoria reached out to hold his hand. The gesture startled him and his expression said as much. She gave him a shy smile, "You're not used to much intimacy are you?"

"No."

She thought that was too bad but kept the observation to herself. It explained a lot though. Tres seemed very unfamiliar with the most basic of human interactions and she had to wonder how isolated his life had been.

He hailed a horse drawn cart; the traditional romantic form of conveyance. It struck him as odd since the same devices were used to haul foods and waste. Most women seemed to find the horses beautiful; Tres couldn't see their appeal. He had only seen them eat and defecate in between serving as beasts of burden.

The night air was cool; Valoria was lulled into a calmer state by the breeze and the gentle pace of the carriage. It was a welcome respite; it helped her to restore sense to her mind which had been slightly shaken by physical urges. The ride passed in silence, Valoria content to simply take in the beauty of the streets bathed in the light of the moons.

All too soon, her house came into view and her sense of peace took flight. The carriage rumbled to a halt; Tres helped her down and then left her standing at the stairs while he paid the driver, who promptly took his leave.

"How are you going to get home," Valoria asked; never once assuming that Tres thought he was spending the night at her place. He didn't strike her as the sleazy type so she wasn't stereotyping him that way.

"Walk."

"I see," she said, when she really didn't. There weren't any hotels nearby and she was certain he didn't live in this section of town.

"This evening was very eventful and enlightening, thank you for your time," he replied, coming to a halt directly in front of her.

She had to crane her head back in order to look at his face. As usual, he met her gaze straight on. She didn't mind with most people but her attraction to him caused her to feel shy whenever they made eye contact.

She had to smile at his stilted and awkward comment. His lack of competence was starting to grow on her. "Thank you for taking me out; I had a nice time as well."

Tres was pleased she had enjoyed their date. He knew from his readings that she would now be more receptive to an offer for another date. He had already surmised he would need to go on several of these in order to get a true understanding for this part of human courtship. "Would you like to go out again?"

Valoria felt a warmth rush through her at the question; he wanted to see her again. "Of course."

Silence descended between them then. Valoria didn't know what else to say and Tres seemed comfortable not saying anything at all. That left them staring at each other in the dark.

Which of course let her mind stray to thoughts of kissing again; only there was a new impatience there; heightened by the impending act.

Tres was also thinking about the kiss. He knew it was part of the ritual of dating. It was such an important part, in fact, that there seemed to be an endless number of articles written about the proper methods of carrying out a kiss. There were guides for when, where and how to do it. He wasn't nervous; it was simply another part of the procedure of the date.

He studied Valoria's physical dimensions and then calculated how best to carry out the actions required for kissing her.

They had been standing there for so long that Valoria was starting to think the kiss wasn't going to happen. She knew some men were old fashioned; she didn't like moving fast herself. But she really hoped he was going to-

Tres descended on her without preamble; catching her off guard as he moved straight into kissing her for the first time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Eleven**

Tres understood the mechanics of kissing but having never practiced, did not know how to necessarily execute them. He had angled his head correctly and placed his mouth over Valoria's with perfect accuracy; however he had no idea how to insert his tongue in her mouth, since it was still closed. He couldn't very well force her; it went against dating etiquette.

Valoria was just recovering from the shock of Tres leaning down to kiss her. He had his mouth open over hers but wasn't really doing anything with it. Initially her eyes had closed in anticipation but now they opened again to study him. Tres was looking down at her with a contemplative expression. At close range his eyes were even more intense.

They stared at each other that way, unmoving.

Tres was wondering what the appeal of kissing was. It seemed bland and awkward; of course he hadn't fully executed it but his partner didn't seem too interested in progressing. The proximity allowed him to register the scent of her, which was rather pleasant; and the feel of her skin was interesting, but hardly earth shattering.

Valoria was wondering why Tres wasn't kissing her. Putting his mouth over hers didn't count. His body felt very firm where it pressed against her; proof that he was indeed as fit as he appeared. But the clumsiness of the kiss managed to diminish the pleasure she might have otherwise received from the contact. Once again, she considered the fact that he might be a virgin. Or, at the very least, woefully inadequate at foreplay.

Did she really want an inexperienced man on her hands? While her number of lovers had been few, they had all been with previous partners and as such already knew what to do. For the most part; she had to get them attuned to what she preferred but the same was true for her when it came to their preferences. No one was perfect. However, a virgin in the true sense of the word not only lacked experience but also could attach quite a bit of emotional baggage to the act.

Was she willing to deal with such a consequence if it occurred? Was she even ready to seriously date?

She honestly didn't know.

Tres, in the meantime, had come across a possible solution to the dilemma at hand. He had recalled a "romantic" method of opening a partner's mouth. He had also come across some information that reminded him to actually move his lips while performing a kiss, so he executed the required acts.

He leaned back so he wasn't covering her mouth with his completely, and then brushed his lips against hers. A strange tingling response immediately surfaced in various parts of his body, almost startling him into pulling away. Only his knowledge that such a reaction was normal in human reactions to kissing kept him from doing so. Still, the feeling was unnerving.

At the light touch of his lips, all of Valoria's logical thoughts flew out the window as a delicious heat swept through her. Inept or not, he was certainly able to arouse her. Her mind might be of one opinion about having a relationship with him, but her body had some ideas of its own. She returned his gentle kiss, leaning into his solid frame and placing her hands on his chest to get the full feel of him before sliding her hands up his torso and around his neck.

The tingling Tres was experiencing seemed to elevate with that series of touches, transfiguring into full blown waves of sensation that rolled over him in undeniably enjoyable waves. He had never experienced so many agreeable stimuli at once; his body's pleasure response system had never reacted so intensely before. He had been completely unaware he was capable of such intense reaction.

Her hands felt hot against his skin and her mouth so sweet under his own. It was a surprising thought; he generally did not think of humans as something that would taste sweet. He wondered if perhaps he was getting a taste of some of the cake she had eaten earlier. His research into human intimacy suggested otherwise; it was a simple response born of arousal, which he now realized he was experiencing for the first time.

Her response to his kiss made him feel assertive enough to carry out the procedure he had read about for opening her mouth. He placed one hand along her jaw line and applied delicate pressure, acutely aware of her fragility compared to his strength. Her mouth opened slightly and he immediately slid his tongue into it.

It was as if he tasted hot honey, that was the only thing he could compare it to. The deepening of the kiss had a marked effect on him; what had been delightful waves of pleasure now exploded into something sharper and more demanding. He could feel his body tightening with some kind of urgency, and then to his complete surprise he felt his shaft harden.

In all his years of functioning, it had not happened once that he could recall. He knew it was something that happened to humans and since he was modeled after them in almost every way it was not so stunning he was capable of it. But it still caught him off guard.

Valoria was melting under the light, hesitant sweeps of his tongue. Each pass of it over her own ignited raging sensations in her body and she was fighting to keep the intimacy of the night down to just one kiss. It had been so long and her body seemed to have developed a mind of its own. She pressed herself against him, glorying in the feel of his muscular physique, and when her hips met his she felt the shocking heat of his erection. She couldn't help it, she rubbed herself against him.

Tres' world darkened before the blinding pleasure of that one movement and a gasp was torn from him against his will.

The sound was enough to restore Valoria's sanity. She literally leaped out of his embrace, panting and wide eyed as she put some much needed distance between them.

Tres felt bereft at the loss of her in his arms. He was surprised to find that he was breathing as heavily as she was.

"That was…amazing," she finally managed to collect her thoughts enough to say. "But I have to go now."

It was suddenly imperative he see her again. "When would you like to go out?"

Valoria wanted to tell him to just stay; which was very bad. "How about two days?"

That would give her some time to reflect and more importantly, calm down.

"Positive," he agreed, absurdly pleased that he'd be getting to see her again.

"Yes, well, um, bye," she replied, turning and running into her house before giving in to the urge to pounce on him.

Tres stood outside her home for several minutes, reflecting on the kiss they had shared. It turned out it was a far from boring pastime. Kissing alone was worth the trials of a date. He couldn't quite believe the intensity of his reaction to it. He had definitely gotten more then he bargained for.


	12. Chapter 12

_AU: Thank you to SheDevil85, ValarSpawn and Corycian Muse for the reviews, they are appreciated! Candy for the writer. I haven't been able to do anything for the last week thanks to three tests, but I finally got to write last night!_

**Twelve**

Tres first date had been a resounding success. He watched Valoria dash into her house as if she were on fire. Perhaps she was, if she was experiencing the sensations he was. His vision picked up movement behind her curtains, the girl appeared to be dancing her way over to the window. She peered around the edge of one drape and stared at him. He realized she thought he couldn't see her. Humans were such odd creatures. Still, he found himself smiling as he turned and walked away from her house.

Tres returned to the Vatican at a leisurely pace, his mind whirling with implications of his reactions to kissing Valoria and his body still in a rather uncomfortable state. He had not been prepared for the physical impact that kissing would have on him. It was not due to a lack of study. There had been several passages that stated kissing could be arousing in the extreme. However, he had expected to have a much more mild reaction to it since his was not a genuinely human body. Apparently his receptors were indeed capable of matching the various levels of human arousal. It was both unexpected and intriguing.

He had been enjoying Valoria's company before the kiss, but afterwards he had a much more resounding urge to see her again. He was beginning to comprehend why desire was such a driving factor for humans and methuselahs alike. Tres wondered how it was that the humans who entered the Vatican occasionally chose to take a vow of celibacy. To give up such an experience was truly an act of devotion, and one he was just now capable of understanding to an extent.

Tres could see now how some men made fools of themselves over women. He had always wondered what sort of unspoken power females seemed to have over males. In his experience, even men in the Vatican became unusually aggressive in the presence of women. Obviously it was in an effort to insinuate they would make the best partner, which he found interesting since most men of the clergy were not allowed to have families.

Then again, perhaps it was hard to give up the memory of such pleasure. He could hardly fault them; he was still feeling the effects of that kiss. He hadn't realized his body could so perfectly emulate a human male's, and now he was hoping that his erection would be subsiding soon. It was rather painful. Part of him was thrilled that he was able to accomplish such a feat; he had often wondered how close to human he could be, and any time he discovered something human he was capable of achieving it pleased him.

The other part of him was slightly worried about the dull pressure in his groin that currently interfered with his normal walking stride. He had no idea how long it was supposed to last. He would need to visit the library and look for information on the matter; because there was no way he was going to mention this new experience to anyone. At least, not until he had completed his experiment in dating. He didn't want any of the AX obstructing his plans; he knew some of them might not approve.

When he reached the Vatican he did his best to maneuver through the hallways without running into anyone. He had nearly reached his chambers when Father Nightroad materialized in front of him.

"Tres, where have you been? I have been looking all over for you! I was going to ask you…what _are _you wearing? I don't think I've ever seen you out of uniform before," the tall man rambled to a stop, eyeing Tres from head to toe with disbelief.

The android was disconcerted. He had hoped no one would see him in street clothes because he knew it was out of place enough to be remarked on. It was unfortunate that Father Nightroad had caught him. Perhaps he could throw the priest off.

"I am wearing clothes Father Nightroad. What did you need my assistance with?"

Abel regarded him curiously; if it had been anyone but Tres he would have said the man was being deliberately evasive; but Tres was as forthright as any being Abel had ever known. "I was going to ask you to help me pick out a gift for Sister Elena; she gave me a new rosary and I thought I should return the favor."

Tres had access to certain files on employees; he was used to people asking him for small bits of personal information about members of the Vatican. As long as the request was for inconsequential details he felt at liberty to release them. Anything deemed private was, of course, sacrosanct. Sister Elena was one of the newer members of the Vatican, and also the female that had been unsuccessfully hitting on Father Nightroad at the last event to the amusement of Father Leon.

"Certainly, her file states she likes kittens," Tres replied, satisfied that he had been able to deflect Abel's curiosity.

The priest frowned thoughtfully. "Well, I can't very well get her a cat," he paused and his expression lightened considerably. "Or can I?"

The question was rhetorical, and Tres would normally have advised Father Nightroad against such an action. However, the man had already turned away and Tres had no wish to obtain his attention again until he was changed into his uniform. So he held his tongue and quickly ducked into his room.

His erection had subsided, possibly as a consequence of being caught in civilian clothes. Whatever the case, the uncomfortable sensation was gone and he was relieved. Tres quickly changed into his uniform, and then headed for the library. He wanted to find out more about the unusual reactions he had experienced that night.

**xXx**

Valoria watched Tres from the safety of her living room windows. She had only been able to catch stolen glimpses of him all night, too nervous to flat out study him as she wanted to. In the moonlight his skin seemed to glow. His hair was somewhere between red and brown, and looked like he constantly ran his hands through it. She found that unlikely, considering how collected he seemed. His brown eyes looked even darker under cover of the night. He had broad shoulders and a fabulous body; she could find no flaw there thus far. He really was a handsome thing. And when he turned to leave, she got an eyeful of his great ass while she watched him disappear from view.

She wondered why he had been at Slipstream; that wasn't something she could ask yet but she was curious nonetheless. If he had gone to meet someone, they hadn't shown; and he had ended up going out with Valoria instead. Still, he seemed to have a good time on their date; and his kiss had certainly conveyed interest in her. She didn't think she was a rebound date. She had to suppress a twinge of doubt at that thought.

Valoria hadn't dated much, only twice in fact and both times she had ended up in long term relationships of a passionate nature. Unfortunately, both had ended due to less then ideal circumstances. And, thinking back on it, both men had been far too appealing for her. She seemed to have a habit of attracting men she couldn't keep.


	13. Chapter 13

_**AU: **__Thank you to Dalara, Corycian Muse and lindajrjt for the reviews! I will try to write more; but chemistry keeps getting in the way!_

**Thirteen**

Tres managed to make it to the library without being stopped by anyone. The place was deserted at that time of night, which was why Tres had decided to go immediately instead of waiting until morning. He had no real need for rest, and the less people who noticed his comings and goings, the better. He had little inclination to use deceit as it was not in his nature.

He found the tomes on human physical interactions and proceeded to skim through the pages until he found several detailed passages relating to the sensations engendered by kissing. He was pleased and relieved to find that, despite the intensity of his reactions, it was completely normal. He was also rather startled to discover that some erections could last a very long time and lead to pronounced aggressive behaviors in males. There was a method of release called masturbation; in theory it sounded simple enough but Tres doubted he would be driven to such an act.

Satisfied with his findings, he was just about to return the books to their proper shelves when he heard the sound of footsteps. He looked up at the interloper, surprised to realize he felt something which resembled dismay. Father Leon strolled across the length of the library with a skewed grin on his face.

"What are you doing here, reading up on something for the Duchess," he asked, dropping into a chair at Tres' table.

The android was unfamiliar with panic as a rule; however, he was experiencing a certain sense of anxiety about hiding the contents of his books from Father Leon. From a logical standpoint he knew that to make any sudden movements might draw attention to himself, but he was hard pressed not to shove his reading materials under the table. "Positive, I am reading."

The priest tilted his head to the side. "Something confidential no doubt."

Tres simply shrugged, a method of evasion he had seen humans use often. "What brings you to the library at this time of night?"

"I couldn't sleep," Father Leon muttered, a troubled look in his eyes.

Tres did not ask if he was running at full capacity. He knew from Father Leon's files that there had been a great deal of emotional trauma in the man's past. Considering the fragile state of the human mind and emotions, it most likely kept the priest up at night.

"I thought I'd grab a book and read until I passed out from boredom," the man went on. "Got any suggestions?

Tres found most books enlightening, not boring. "Negative. Perhaps you could consult with the Professor. He will still be up."

The inventor was known for keeping late hours.

Father Leon merely shrugged and then stretched. "I don't feel like getting talked into helping William with one of his experiments. I think I'll read that new novel by Unity."

Unity was the pen name of an author who had written a series of books about Human and Methuselah relationships. They were considered to be inflammatory to the more conservative factions of each race, as it was an implicit intent of the author to promote partnership between the warring sides.

The Duchess of Milan had taken an interest in Unity. She had informed Tres that the promotion of peace in a mainstream media format was an excellent strategy and to the benefit of the Vatican. The latest novel had ended with the implication that the following release would pertain to actual sexual relationships between humans and Methuselahs that had been successful.

Tres was certain such a book would cause an uproar, as the odds indicated this would be the case. In his experience, the courtship rules of both races had rather strict guidelines when it came to dating. One of the reasons he found human relationships so fascinating was that they seemed to follow a pattern that was at once traditional and yet also evolutionary, depending on the couple itself.

"I have read the book. It is informative. I doubt it will put you to sleep," Tres pointed out to Father Leon.

The priest snorted as he stood up. "Even a good book can put me to sleep if it's the right time of night."

As soon as the man turned away, Tres quickly rose and headed for the opposite side of the library, sliding the books in his hand under a bottom shelf. He would have to come back later to replace them; the titles written by Unity were all in the same section as the volumes he had chosen; he would be unable to return them at the moment without Father Leon noticing.

When he walked back to the table, the priest was already seated again with book in hand. He was reading the back of the book, where future printings were often announced, when he gave a low whistle. "I wonder if Unity will really publish a novel on sex between vampires and humans."

Tres considered the author's audacious writings to date and determined the person would indeed publish such a manuscript. "It is likely, given the writer's past, that they will present the book for sensationalism if nothing else."

"People will be pissed, but it'll sell," Father Leon said with a laugh. "Hell, I might get it myself just to check out the lurid details."

The priest was truly unorthodox in Tres opinion, but the android had become somewhat accustomed to his outrageous manner of speaking. "I am certain that will not be necessary. The Duchess of Milan has shown interest in supporting the writings of Unity, I am positive she will purchase at least one copy on behalf of the Vatican to convey her support of the book."

Father Leon sighed. "You know, you really take the fun out of talking sometimes."

Tres had no idea what the man was talking about. "How?"

The priest just shook his head. "It would take too long to explain it to you, and I'm not really known for my patience."

Actually, Tres knew him to be a very calculating man. But he let the comment pass, realizing Father Leon had no wish to speak of the matter. The remark actually reminded him of their conversation several days past, which had prompted him to go out and explore the facets of human courtship. The priest was responsible for him meeting Valoria.

"In that case I will return to my quarters. Good night," Tres replied before departing from the library.

Father Leon watched him go, a speculative look in his eyes. As soon as the android was out of sight, he set down his book and made his way over to the shelf he had seen Tres stop at. He knelt down and reached under the bottom of the bookcase and pulled out the volumes that Tres had hidden there.

He glanced at the titles with a frown. He had thought Tres might be working on some special project for Caterina. But he doubted the duchess would have the android look into the defining moments of kissing throughout human history. Why in the world would Tres be reading through so many books about kissing?

Unless, of course, it was for personal reasons.


	14. Chapter 14

**Fourteen**

Valoria spent the next couple days thinking about Tres. She'd had a good time on their date; he was a very interesting man. He didn't talk much but he was polite and straight forward. His reserved nature was an enticing compliment to his gorgeous looks. She found his company both soothing and inciting.

And he was a very good kisser despite his rather awkward initial approach. She found herself remembering the way his lips felt against hers at the most inconvenient times, such as when she was searching through her research manuals or talking to customers at Slipstream. It wasn't like her to zone out during a conversation and more then one customer had suggested _someone _was the source of her distraction.

Valoria had denied it, even though it was true. Despite being starry eyed over her latest date, she had actually managed to make some progress in her research. She had a great deal of first hand knowledge about methuselahs thanks to her relationship with Tristan, which in turn contributed immensely to her cataloging of accurate information. While Tres was a new interest in her life, nothing ever surpassed her love of research and writing.

Both Tristan and Altar had been somewhat jealous of their inability to take her away from her precious books. However, her manuscripts were by far the most constant thing in her life. She was satisfied with the progress she had been making on her current piece; and putting it together had helped calm her nerves, keeping her mind from lingering over the next time she would see Tres.

However, the day of their next date she found herself unable to keep him from her thoughts. Consequently, the time seemed to drag on forever. She had decided not to work at Slipstream because she was certain she would be too distracted to focus on her customers. Not to mention she didn't want to deal with their speculations.

Since she didn't know what they were doing for their date, she dressed in a conservative black skirt and spaghetti strap top; with her hair up just for a slight hint of sophistication to balance the simple outfit.

It wasn't until after she'd gotten ready that she realized she had a few hours left before her date. So she sat down to look over her notes on Methuselah hierarchies one more time.

**xXx**

Tres found his thoughts preoccupied with Valoria more often then not. He had thoroughly enjoyed their kiss and looked forward to proceeding to the next stage of human physical intimacy. It sounded quite promising from what he'd read. To a lesser extent, he felt a minor compulsion to spend time with her again. She had seemed likeable for a human; her forthright attitude was very refreshing for Tres; in his experience many humans tended to talk in circles. He wasn't certain if it was because they wanted to avoid giving a definite answer; or if it was because they honestly didn't have an answer.

At any rate, for their second date he had arranged to have dinner in one of the most prestigious libraries in the city. He knew Valoria had a fondness for reading and he had read women enjoyed candle light dinners. Naturally a logical conclusion for a date had been to have dinner in a private reading parlor. It had been rather expensive to arrange on such short notice. He was beginning to see why so many men complained about the cost of dating.

Even though he was technically on leave; Tres had still tended to various requests from the Duchess, and every errand he was sent to run, he had company. One person in particular in fact. Father Leon had insisted on accompanying him everywhere. It was unusual but Tres supposed the priest was just bored. However, he noticed the man watching him sometimes, with a rather odd look on his face. Human eccentricities were legion, so Tres simply chose to ignore his behavior.

However with Father Leon always underfoot, Tres knew he was going to have to be careful to leave the Vatican unseen. To lessen suspicion, he dressed in civilian clothes underneath his AX gear. One thing he had learned from the programs the Professor had him run on subterfuge was that hiding things in plain sight usually worked.

In order to avoid Father Leon, Tres left his room through a window. Lately it seemed the priest was always outside his door. On further analysis he realized he was behaving in a decidedly strange way; dressing in disguise and going out windows like a thief might. It was necessary to get privacy, it seemed. He wondered how often humans resorted to such means in order to get a moment to themselves.

He exited the Vatican as inconspicuously as possible and then made his way to Valoria's home. Once he reached her block, he removed his robes and folded them into a neat pile. He placed them under a bush beside her porch, satisfied they were hidden from sight.

He then proceeded to walk up the stairs and knocked on her door.

**xXx**

Valoria was jotting down a few notes about one of her more complex conversation with the Viscount of Brioschi when she heard the knock. Her heart jumped into her throat, and then she was assailed by butterflies once again because she knew it was Tres and just thinking of him made her a little light headed. Telling herself to get a grip, she stood up and went to the door.

Tres was waiting for her with a patient expression on his stoic face. He looked divine, even with his messy hair. Once again he was in a black outfit; it seemed to suit him; the color did nothing to hide the broad expanse of his shoulders. She mentally reminded herself not to drool.

Tres thought Valoria looked very adequate; her clothes showed off a figure that was at once curvaceous and slim. He understood from his research that she was an appealing female, but the moment he saw her he couldn't help recalling the kiss they had shared. He had thought about it from an objective stand point over the last couple of days, however seeing her sparked an entirely different form of remembrance. It was almost as if he could feel it all over again. He was astonished to feel a slight stirring in his body; he hadn't realized he could be aroused by a memory.

He shifted against the uncomfortable fit of his pants and said, "Good evening Valoria. I have come to escort you on our date."

Valoria smiled at his formality; he really was a cute thing. "Where are we going tonight?"

Tres held a hand out to her. "It's a surprise."

She placed her hand in his. "I love those."

_**AU: **__Thank you to Corycian Muse, taixishi__cazz, ValarSpawn, lindajrjt, and ButtercreamFrosting for the reviews. They are much appreciated! I can't give away what Father Leon's role is going to be. But I can say the next date is on the way and will be followed by more steam._


	15. Chapter 15

**Fifteen**

When Valoria took Tres hand, a jolt of heat flashed between them, instantly bringing a flush to her cheeks and causing him to grow unnaturally still. She was used to sexual attraction and recovered first, determined to remain in control of herself. Tres, however, was completely stunned, attempting to understand why the intense waves of pleasure had washed through him just from touching her. His eyes narrowed as he took in their joined hands, but nothing appeared out of place nor did he see any obvious sign of what had caused such a stimulation to assault his senses.

He was utterly logical in nature, and did not like things that were inexplicable. However it seemed that many things about human courtship and intimacy were just that: a mystery; even to them. He studied Valoria's face to see if she was being afflicted with the same sensations but she looked perfectly at ease. He concluded his inexperience with bodily reactions was leading him to have an uncontrolled response.

Tres speculated about his reaction in silence. Valoria was somewhat aware of his tendency to be close lipped but after a while she began to feel restless. He had mentioned a surprise, and she was curious as to what it could be. She preferred not to ask about it, but they also weren't having conversation of any kind so she couldn't exactly put it from her mind.

She glanced over at him and noticed an almost pensive look on his normally serene face. "Is something wrong?"

Tres was startled out of his calculations by the sound of her voice. For an instant as he looked at her, he had no idea how long he had been lost in thought. Of course, the exact number of minutes and seconds came to him a moment later, but he managed to refrain from voicing them out loud. It was definitely not the trait of a human.

"Negative," he began, then paused when he realized in a way something _was _wrong, as he could not reconcile his body's earlier reaction to their touching hands. "I…don't know."

"Well that's a rather odd state to be in," she said with a smile, wondering what could be on his mind.

"Positive," he agreed, aware of the fact that he was, for the most part, never in such a confused state. Perhaps he needed to run a scan to confirm he was fully operational.

"Anything I can help you with," she offered, accustomed to dealing with a variety of issues thanks to her experiences with the fast crowd at Slipstream. There wasn't much she hadn't heard.

He could never inform her of the fact that he was an android; it would destroy the unbiased basis for his test of human relationships. "Negative."

Valoria understood she shouldn't take it personally since they had just started dating, but of course part of her felt rejected. Then again, she hadn't shared anything personal with him either.

"Well then I'll just have to distract you from your troublesome thoughts," she declared. And then she launched into a rather outrageous story she'd heard from one of her regulars the night before.

Tres listened in silence, wondering why she would want to divert his attention from bothersome thoughts. It was, in a way, a form of friendship. He had seen members of the AX do this for one another in the past and for him as well. He hadn't expected such treatment from a date; however it was logical that people who were lovers would also be friends. In fact, he had read something stating that made for the most successful partnerships.

Her story was obviously exaggerated; on further reflection he realized this was most likely for his benefit. She was adding a great deal of humor and he suspected it would have succeeded in entertaining a human. Some of her comments were truly ludicrous; he found it easy to smile at her mannerisms if not the story itself, which was a new experience for him since he did not normally smile or laugh.

That she wanted to put him at ease made him feel strangely compelled to see to her well being as well. Unaccountably he found himself wondering what she would think of the dining arrangements he had set up.

Valoria felt she had won some sort of battle when she received a small smile from Tres while she was telling him her story. He had only smiled once in the time she had known him. "That's what I was looking for," she announced. "You should smile more often, it's cute."

Tres tilted his head to one side and studied her. He had never been told he was cute before. It was meant as a compliment to the aesthetic aspect of his physical build. "Thank you."

His voice was always so…flat. It was as if he'd never known joy in life, she thought. Most people encountered hardships that left them sounding sad; but they were still able to appreciate the beautiful things they witnessed, and value them even more for the trials endured.

Again she wondered what he did for a living; and what had brought him to Slipstream.

"We've arrived," Tres informed her, breaking into her reverie.

Valoria looked at the building they had stopped in front of, and blinked in surprise. What were they doing at Saint Ambrose Library?

Tres read the look of confusion on her face and said, "I have arranged for a private dinner in one of the reading salons."

Valoria didn't know whether to be delighted by his thoughtfulness or horrified by the fact that she didn't want to be seen by any coworkers. She had absolutely no desire to field suggestive questions about her date and nearly everyone in the library knew who she was.

She glanced over at Tres, about to ask him if they could go somewhere else, when she noticed he was watching her face as if trying to gauge if she was pleased with his surprise. It was obvious he had put thought into this date, to have the setting in an environment he knew she would enjoy since she was an avid reader. There was no way she could ask him to go somewhere else. She would not only sound like a bitch, but feel like one as well. She swallowed down her panic and prayed no one would see them before they got to their table.

Valoria plastered a smile on her face and said, "That's so sweet! No one has ever done something quite like this for me before."

Tres analyzed her voice, detecting both sincerity and a trace of anxiety. Why was she tense?

"Is there something wrong?"

Valoria blinked at him, surprised by his perceptiveness. For all that he presented a blank face to the world, Tres was highly aware of his surroundings.

"No, no, everything is fine," she assured him.

Her voice told him otherwise, but she had resisted his attempt to offer verbal assistance and so Tres let the matter go. He gestured for her to follow him and then made his way into the ancient library.

**AN: **_Thank you to Birdy, lindajrjt and Corycian Muse for the reviews. I am enjoying how Tres little experiment into human nature is slowly starting to manipulate him instead; karma and all that. The dating god does love to bite people in the ass. _


End file.
